


when the game is over

by Sarjear



Category: The Queen's Gambit (TV)
Genre: F/M, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Implied/Referenced Drug Addiction, Post-Canon
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-08
Updated: 2020-12-07
Packaged: 2021-03-09 02:35:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 7,998
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27447232
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sarjear/pseuds/Sarjear
Summary: Imagining what would happen after the series ends, focus on Beth and Benny. I will also upload a non sexual version of the story.
Relationships: Beth Harmon/Benny Watts
Comments: 82
Kudos: 446





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Reformatted and updated as of 11/12

New York was cold. Not cold like Moscow, but winter had certainly come to the city; wind pushed at her open jacket, and the trees she remembered as being colorful last time she was here were now bare. Thinking of Benny driving her to this airport all those months ago, Beth took a deep breath and hailed a cab.

… 

The cab drove off quickly, leaving Beth hesitating on the sidewalk with her bags, looking down at the basement walkdown. Hoping that if she could manage to beat Borgov at barely twenty, she could at least face Benny Watts. 

When he opens the door he doesn’t seem surprised to see her. He just opens the door, letting her in with a blank expression.

Setting her bags down, Beth says “I’m supposed to do interviews and stuff… in the city… so I… ” 

Deciding the let down the facade, she looks up meeting his eyes, “I let you down.”

Now she thinks she has surprised him, “What? You just beat Borgov. Beat the Russians at their own game.”

“No, not then, in Paris; I got drunk and I lost. I thought I could have just one drink and be fine, but I couldn’t.” 

Maybe seeing her shaking, Benny takes her hand and leads her sit at the table, sitting at the chair across from her, arms crossed, silent and looking at her intently, letting her speak.

“I could barely face myself, let alone you. And then my father tried to take the house back, and I just kept feeling more and more alone. And mad, at myself, and everything around me, and… and… ”

Finally coming to the most important part, “I’m sorry Benny, for not coming back to you, and for letting you down. And I don’t know if you want to forgive me, but you should know I beat Borgov sober no booze no pills, nothing -”

“I know,” Benny interrupted, reaching out to hold her shaking hands. “I knew it was the only way you could have done it.” 

Beth stares at their clasped hands.

“I want to be with you, Beth, more than I want to admit,” Beth starts to open her mouth in hope.

“But Beth, I can’t, if you’re going to run away again. Even if you mess up, even if you lose when you shouldn’t or you go on a bender, I need to know you won’t run away.”

“I won’t. Not anymore. Not from you.” Beth promises staring directly into his eyes.


	2. Chapter 2

With that, Benny stands from the table, pulling Beth’s clasped hands towards his chest. She gets up, eyes still locked on his. When Benny kisses her it as if all the passion left unexpressed from their words could be conveyed through touch. Benny’s hands release hers to hold her face and waist flush against his. Beth moves her hands to snake around his whole body.

His fingers first push her hair scarf off, so he can tangle his hands in her hair. Soon they are both frantically pulling at each other's clothing and stumbling towards the bedroom, as best they can without moving their lips from the other’s mouth. 

Half tripping, they fall together into the mattress. Beth pauses a moment catching her breath watching Benny watch her. There is something different in his eyes from the other times they had slept together. It’s as if he is seeing all of her for the first time, as if no part of him is anywhere but right here.

Slowly he moves in, not to kiss her but to nuzzle his face against hers and then to her neck where he begins sucking hard. Benny had never done this to her before. Beth gasps at the feeling.

Then his hand is working at her bra clasp. As he pulls it off her, she pushes his already unbuttoned shirt off his shoulders. 

He grabs her skirt, panyhoes, and underwear together, leaving her bare in one motion. Moving from his side to his knees he is suddenly between her legs, meeting her eyes before placing his head over her opening to deliver pleasure. 

Harry had tried this with Beth before, but Beth had asked him to stop when she felt more uncomfortable than anything as a result of his efforts. But when Benny had first done this to her all those months ago, it had become clear to Beth how enjoyable such an activity could be, that point had been later driven home with Cleo in Paris, though a fog engulfed that memory.

As Benny rises from between her legs, Beth grabs at his pants and boxers, the belt and facinings already undone, and pushes them off him.

Looking down at her, Benny caresses Beth’s face before grabbing clumsily for a condom from the drawer on the bedside table. With a clumsiness that would suggest his hands were shaking, Benny unwraps and rolls the condom over himself. Grabbing her hand, Benny pushes himself inside her. 

Together they move, staring into each other's eyes. When Benny stutters in his movements, Beth takes the opportunity to flip them over. For a moment they are still before Beth starts moving, and Benny thrusts to meet her. He places one hand on her hip, and the other on her breast. Beth’s own hands brace herself on his chest, enjoying the feeling of his frantic breaths beneath her fingertips. 

As their breaths grow more hoarse and their movements more frantic, Benny moves his hand from her hip to her clit frantically drumming to push them both over the edge together.

Beth doesn’t remember them consciously stilling, only that when she is able to think again, her forehead is pressed to Benny's, his eyes are closed, and he is holding her folded body against his chest.

Slowly noticing the pain from the awkward position, Beth reluctantly pulls herself off him. But Benny doesn’t go, his arms stay around her, so she settles to lying on her side, with her head on his chest, his arms still holding her close. His chest is still rising and falling quickly under her head. 

Quietly, Benny murmurs into the crown of her head, “I’m glad you came back.”


	3. Chapter 3

Beth wakes with arms around her. She can feel Benny breathing on her neck, and from the way his fingers are tracing patterns on her arms, she knows he is already awake. They had never woken up together this way. Though they had shared a bed for the two weeks before Paris, they had never held eachother after sex, let alone through to the morning. For that matter, no one had ever held Beth that she can remember; Alma may have embraced her from time to time, but only briefly, and certainly no one she’d ever had sex with had held her before. Townes had hugged her and even caressed her several times in Russia, but never held her. Briefly she wonders if her mother had ever held her, she can’t remember. 

Benny must sense that she has woken, because he places a kiss at the top of her spine, and sleepily murmurs, “Good morning kid.” Even in the morning fog, his voice has a tinge of smugness to it, as if waking up before her was an accomplishment. 

Beth rolls over, greeted by Benny’s morning breath, Beth answers with equal smugness, “Good morning Benny.” 

Benny kisses her, and even though his breath is stale and yellow, Beth kisses back. 

Breaking away, Benny smiles at her. 

“I’ll make coffee,” he offers, sitting up with a yawn. 

Beth rubs her eyes, and watches as Benny’s blurred figure throws pants and his ridiculous floral robe on and leaves the bedroom. As she sits up, Beth realizes her bags are all in the main room, the only clothes nearby are the ones she wore for the bus ride from DC, and Beth certainly has no intention of re-wearing those. So instead, she walks out to the main room to grab her bags completely nude. 

Benny looks taken aback at her appearance, but Beth simply holds up her bags as explanation. Benny turns back to the coffee shaking his head. 

Now dressed in simple jeans and a shirt, Beth comes out into the kitchen. Benny hands her a cup of coffee.

“Thank you,” as she checks the fridge for eggs, she asks, “do you want some breakfast.” 

“Sure,” Benny says sitting down at the table watching her.

As Beth places plates of eggs in front of each of them, she is struck by how different this feels from the many other mornings she had Benny had shared together. There is something different in the way they are acting around each other, as if a wall (she supposes that wall must once have been the pretense of training,) has fallen down between them, and now they can suddenly see much more of the other’s person than ever before. 

“I have ‘Tonight’ tonight.”

“Ok.”

“And then later this week, ‘Today’ and ‘Merv Griffin’.”

Benny looks somewhat surprised and a bit impressed, “so you’re doing all the appearances this time around.”

“Well, if I want to keep up the international competitions and whatnot, I should probably make nice with the Federation and all.” 

“Good, good,” Benny notes, picking up their now empty plates and cups. He doesn’t ask what Beth will do after all the interviews are over.

Beth looks over to the cushions on the floor, where she sees a newspaper, spread open to an article announcing her win in Moscow. Beth knows this must be nearly a week old at this point, and Benny never gets the newspaper, ‘Chess Review’ was the only periodical that seemed to matter to him (as well as every magazine or paper that had ever done an article on him,) when she had stayed here before. 

“Wanna play?” Benny asks, flopping himself down next to the board in the middle of the living room floor and gesturing. 

“I have to make a call first,” Beth says, “mind if I use your phone?”

“Go ahead,” Benny offers, with a blase wave of his hand, sitting up to study the leftover game on the board.

“Hello?”

“Jolene?”

“Beth hun, is that you?”

“Yea, I’m in New York.”

“Alright, you still doing good?” Beth knows what she is really asking, and she’s grateful, but Beth doesn’t want this conversation to be about herself, and she doesn’t want Jolene thinking that she only calls when something has gone wrong.

“Yes, yes, I just wanted to thank you.”

“For what Beth, I told you we’re family, and you’d better remember that.”

“I know, I know, I just… I wouldn’t have been able to get sober without you, and I certainly wouldn’t have made it to Russia without your help.”

“Of course, Cracker. And now that you’re world champion you better be paying me back soon, I’ve got to start radically changing things around here as soon as I can.”

“I know,” Beth laughs, “don’t worry, I’ll have it back to you when I’m back in Kentucky, and can give it to you in person.”

“Alright, but don’t run back too fast if you’ve got something good going on in New York,” Jolene says knowingly.

Beth looks at Benny, contemplating moves on the floor, “I wouldn’t worry about me rushing anywhere anytime soon,” she smiles through the receiver.

Setting the receiver onto the base, Beth turns around to Benny, who holds two closed fists out to her, “choose.”


	4. Chapter 4

That night, Beth appears on ‘Tonight’. 

… 

“Well Ms. Harmon what’s next for you?”

“Well, I’d like to be world champion, there’s a different tournament for that, officially.”

“Officially yes, though I have to say for us Americans, we already consider you world champion.”

“Why thank you, all the same there are plenty of players out there I haven’t had the chance to beat yet.”

“I’m sure, but on to your personal life, you’re a nice young woman, do you have a fella to follow you around the world.”

Beth laughs nervously, fiddling with the scarf she tied around her neck to hide the mark left by Benny last night, “I won’t say much, but I’m certainly not about to put an ad in the personals.”

“Well Ms. Harmon, if that’s all you’re willing to say, I suppose we’ll just leave the viewers wondering, and I’m sure quite a few of them rather heartbroken.”

…

Getting home, or rather back to Benny’s apartment, Beth reminds herself as she finds herself knocking at the door. 

Benny opens the door, still only wearing the robe and jeans from this morning, he takes her arm pulling her into the apartment. 

He closes and locks the door one handed, not letting go of Beth, and she can sense something is different. 

Finally he speaks, “I should hope you won’t be putting any ads in the personals out,” and just as Beth registers with surprise, that Benny had watched her interview, though he rarely watches TV, she finally understands what is different about Benny tonight; he wants her, maybe more than ever before, or he’s just let his guard down enough not to hide his lust. She also knows something is made certain between them, something that had never been there when they’d slept together before; now Beth knows that neither of them will look to another, and not by coincidence as before, but instead by choice, by making a decision for the other. 

With that, their lips lock, and Beth finds herself pressed up against the wall. Beth stands on her toes to meet Benny’s lips with equal ferocity. Feeling her struggle, Benny grabs her thighs and pulls her up, so their faces are level and her thighs are wrapped around his waist. 

Kicking off her heels, Beth locks her ankles together giving herself more stability against Benny’s body. Their lips work together, creating a song of want and ecstasy. Beth grabs at his hair, trying to anchor herself in his body.

Beth’s position doesn’t allow herself much flexibility of movement to remove their clothes, but luckily Benny is just as desperate as she is, and is quickly working at both of their outfits, working to expose his cock to her pussy. And as soon as they are exposed enough, Benny is inside of her, and they are fucking. Against the wall, Beth’s coat is protecting her from the bruising that this would surely leave if she was bare. And Benny is staring into her eyes between the moments when their lips are locked. And Beth is desperately grabbing at Benny, his hair, his shirt, his face, half to stabilize herself, and half to consume him, though truly nothing could be as capable of consuming him as she wishes. 

And suddenly they are falling together over the edge of pleasure. They hold each other, as Benny’s knees give out, and they are huddled on the floor each holding the other as they shake and pant.


	5. Chapter 5

Slowly Beth realizes that in their passion, they hadn’t used a condom. This thought must be occurring to Benny as well, because he pulls back to face her with concern.

“Beth, I’m sorry, I didn’t think, I-”

“It’s ok, I’ll go to a doctor, get on the pill. That should be fine, right?” Beth doesn’t know what the answer is, she asks to reassure herself as much as Benny.

He places a hand on her cheek, “it will be.” Beth doesn’t ask what he means by this, if she surely can’t be pregnant from only one time, or if it’s ok if she is, but Beth decides to trust Benny. 

All the same she washes herself vigorously in the shower afterwards, as that would have some effect on the outcome. Still, Beth doesn’t feel as worried as she ought, she can’t help but be happy, thinking of the certainty with which Benny had held her, and the way they had fucked, with such desperation. To know that they belonged to one another meant so much more to Beth than any concerns of the future. 

That night, they went to bed facing each other, tangling their fingers and legs together, their breaths syncing together. As Beth falls into the gray expanse of sleep, she hears Benny murmur something, but she can’t make it out, and before she can ask him to repeat it, she is consumed by sleep.


	6. Chapter 6

Beth does see a doctor, the very next day. Benny offers to go with her, and Beth almost says yes, but she wants to do this herself. 

Before she goes Benny stops her, with a hand on her arm.

“Wait, I’ve got something for you.”

Beth looks at Benny in confusion, as he lets go of her arm to rifle in the kitchen drawer that houses all the nicknacks that have no clear place in the apartment.

Pulling something small out, Benny turns to her, “you should have this.”

Benny places a key in her hand.

Beth looks at Benny, and he can’t seem to decipher awe from confusion in her face, because he adds, “you shouldn’t have to knock to come home.”

Beth considers saying that Kentucky is her home, but looking at Benny’s open face offering up his home to her without prompting or caveat, she doesn’t. Besides, maybe home wasn’t the house she would come back to with Mother, maybe home had been sitting next to her on all the planes and buses across the country, and maybe home could be looking at her now. But Beth doesn't know yet, so instead of saying all this, Beth closes her fingers around the key and kisses him. She’s glad to not have to knock at the door again. 

… 

Beth had rarely ever been to a doctor, for all that Alma was sick, Beth rarely was, and never seriously. At Methuen, the girls had always been treated in house, unless they were seriously ill. Beth remembered even as she had swallowed handfuls of green pills, the staff at Methuen had just given her castor oil until she vomited and put her to bed. She’d been several times to get prescriptions for sedatives, but that had been different, she had simply been there to manipulate a situation to her liking as quickly as possible, like finishing off an untalented opponent. Now she needed the doctor; she couldn’t simply arrange the facts in a pattern where she was or wasn’t pregnant, she just had to wait for the doctor’s verdict. 

Beth feels uncomfortable in the office, she doesn’t know these people or this space. She can’t focus on anything, even chess games in her head, she is too focused on looking at everything and everyone around her, trying to commit every detail to memory before she can focus on anything else. Finally she is called back to an exam room, and at least there is less space for her to try and memorize her, and fewer people. 

When Beth tells the nurse she wants the pill, and to know if she could be pregnant, she looks at Beth as if she’s an idiot. 

The doctor insists on examining her before he answers her questions. Beth has never had a pelvic exam, she knew coming here she would probably have to have one, but all the same she hates it. She doesn’t want this condescending jerk to look at her privates, to touch and prod at her in the places she has only ever allowed lovers to touch. 

After asking Beth about her cycle, the doctor informs her that there is very little chance of her being pregnant. Beth is filled with relief, the idea of raising a child terrified her. He gives her the prescription for the pill. 

… 

Beth fills the script at the first pharmacy she sees, the pharmacist recognizes her from the TV.

“Good on you for beating those Soviets,” he remarks. 

Beth just nods and tucks the pills in her purse.


	7. Chapter 7

Getting back to the apartment, Beth smiles as she unlocks the door. Benny is on the cushions reading, when she comes in, he gets up to kiss her. After telling Benny about the doctor, he suggests Arthur and Hilton come over that evening. 

Beth agrees, and asks if Cleo will be there.

“Maybe, I’m not at all sure where she is most of the time.”

Beth nods.

“You know she told me,” Beth looks up at him with surprise from the cushions, Benny continues, “that she invited you for a drink in Paris, she said she was sorry, if that’s why you didn’t come back to New York.”

“You know why I didn’t come back to New York, it had nothing to do with Cleo, I made the choice to drink, I could have seen her without drinking. Although, it’s less likely I would have slept with her if I hadn’t been drinking.” Beth watches Benny closely as he processes what she has just said.

“What? I mean ok.” Benny gives her a shocked and somewhat disapproving look.

“Don’t give me that look, now everybody in the apartment’s slept with Cleo.”

Benny rolls his eyes, but smiles at her.

“I take that to mean it's ok if she does come by?”

“Yes of course,” Beth agrees.

… 

Arthur and Hilton greet Beth with quick hugs. Cleo is with them, and she greets both Beth and Benny with closed mouth kisses on their respective lips, and when they both look at Cleo in surprise, she just winks knowingly and goes to the kitchen with the champagne bottles. Cleo tries to hand everybody a glass of champagne “to Beth’s win.” But Beth firmly declines, she is also seemingly not allowed in the kitchen, as according to Hilton “we are here to celebrate you; you can’t be catering to us in the kitchen all night.” 

There is something magical to Beth about everyone toasting her, and calling her a champion. For a moment she is nine years old again, being given a box of chocolates as a prize for the first thing she had ever won. She doesn’t know where to look, so she looks at Benny. He is smiling wider than she has ever seen before, as she is mesmerized at the way he is looking at her, it reminds her a bit of the way he looked at her after she beat him in Ohio, and a bit of the way Townes had looked at her after beating Borgov. 

Beth kisses him. She can tell he is surprised by the way his body starts before he wraps his free arm around her. Beth can hear their friends cheering; she pulls back with red cheeks smiling. Benny is smiling into her eyes.

Hilton and Arthur refuse to play chess with her, Hilton citing the last time, “I think we would prefer not to anymore collateral damage in your conquering of Benny.”

All the same they have fun, laughing and talking. Towards the end of the night, Benny starts going off on one of his chess lectures despite much protesting. While he gestures wildly and asserts the best strategies he rests his right arm over Beth’s shoulders, rubbing her arm with his thumb.


	8. Chapter 8

When everyone is gone, Benny and Beth are left next to the entrance landing in a position with which they are both familiar. Beth raises her eyebrows at Benny hinting at what happened last time they had said goodbye to their friends and stood in this position. Benny knows what she is thinking, of course he does, he knows at least half of Beth’s own thoughts she thinks.

“That would be a no. I am too drunk and tired, and you have ‘Today’ early tomorrow.”

Beth rolls her eyes, but assents, “fine then.”

Benny puts his arm around her, as he had earlier with their friends, and they walk into the bedroom. They get ready for bed, all Beth belongings, formerly located in her suitcases, having now found locations in the bedroom since that first night together, and she slips on her pajamas; Benny wears boxers to bed as usual. 

They lie down, Beth placing her head on Benny’s chest, so she can feel him breath. Benny places a kiss on her head, and they fall into the gray of sleep. 

… 

They both wake early in the morning, Beth frantically trying on multiple dresses, before she feels ready to appear on TV. As Beth walks into the kitchen finally satisfied with her appearance, Benny hands her coffee.

“You know they’re going to ask you the same stuff from ‘Tonight’.”

“I know.”

“Especially after that coy little answer you gave last time.” Now Beth knows what this conversation is really about. 

“M’hum,” she answers, daring Benny to voice what she knows he’s thinking with her eyes over the rim of the coffee cup. 

“Well,” Benny starts, leaning on the counter with an elbow, “it’s up to you, but I don’t mind you mentioning who it is you’re staying with in New York.”

“Oh, is that so,” Beth counters with raised eyebrows, “are you missing your name on TV that much, Benny Watts.”

“Look it’s up to you,” Benny says ignoring her jab.

Beth sets down her coffee, “look Benny, I like being here with you in New York.”

Benny’s face grows clouded suddenly, and Beth knows he must think she’s going to say she’ll leave.

“No it’s not that I want to leave,” she reassures. “But Benny I do have a house in Kentucky, it was the home I shared with my mother, and I have people in Kentucky, Jolene, Townes, Harry, Matt, Mike- ”

“I get it Beth, you have people in Kentucky, and I have people in New York- ”

“And I want you to come home to Kentucky with me! I want you to see my world, and my family,” Beth pauses, feeling overwhelmed at the precipice of two extreme options to where this could go with Benny. 

“Ok.”

“What?”

“Not now, my mother would kill me if I’m not around for Christmas, but sometime, whenever, we can try out Kentucky.”

Beth relaxes, she hadn’t expected Benny to come to Kentucky so easily. She smiles, “ok.” Later on her way to the studio, she would wonder about Benny’s family, his mother must be in New York. She knew that his mother had taken to all the chess tournaments when he was little, and his father died in the war, but she only knew this from the articles on him, not actually from him. Though to be fair, until she’d come back from Russia, they’d almost exclusively talked about chess. However, right then, in that moment, rather than thinking about all the implications of what Benny had just said, Beth simply kisses him.

“I’ve got to go,” she whispers, resting her head in the crook of his neck.

“I know,” he whispers back into her hair.

They separate, and Beth heads out the door.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to have this out earlier, but then I accidentally wrote three pages of strip chess... and well here we are

Beth has both ‘Today’ and ‘Merv Griffin’ that day. The people at ‘Today’ are all interested in the Soviets, but Griffin asks more personal questions.

“Now you said earlier this week that you wouldn’t be putting any personal ads out, now I don’t suppose you’ll let us all in on the fella’s name now would you? There was I believe a reporter from Kentucky who went all the way to Moscow to cover your story.”

Beth laughs uncomfortably, realizing the amount of research that was done into her personal history, she also laughs at the idea that Townes is who they suspect as her lover.

“No, I am not with a reporter, and I suppose to settle all the rumors, I will tell you that I am happily together with chess grandmaster, Benny Watts,” Beth smooths her skirt and smiles self satisfiedly. She may have been surprised by the show’s research, but she’s won plenty of chess games to know how to turn a surprise right back on her opponent.

… 

Coming back into the apartment, Benny greets her with a kiss. 

“Those were a couple of very nice interviews you gave.”

“Why thank you,” she smiles.

“Anyway, I think we’ve been putting something off,” Benny comments with mischief in his eyes.

“And what exactly is that,” Beth counters, taking off her coat, and knowing exactly what Benny means.

Benny gestures to the living room, where a board is set, “a game.” He’s right, they had only played a couple of games since she had showed up at his door, this was very unlike them. Last time they had been together, they were playing nearly nonstop, all in the midst of training. 

They sit down to play, and after an hour of frustration, Beth exclaimed, “this is useless! The only way this can end is with a draw.”

“I know,” Benny says with disappointment, but not the same frustration, Beth had expressed, “it’s normal, with two players of our skill.” He shrugged.

“Normal,” Beth looked at Benny incredulously, “this cannot be normal, I hate it.”

“You’ve read all the chess books, you know it’s normal, you just aren’t used to it.” 

“I don’t want to be used to it, I’ll just study more, this,” she gestures in disgust towards the board, “won’t be my future.”

“Ok,” Benny smiles, he knows Beth will always be able to bring her games to conclusion from now on, she just hadn’t gone into this game knowing how she would hate a draw, she hadn’t been ready to take this game seriously enough. “Though, in the meantime, I have an idea, for how we could make this a little more entertaining.”

“How?” Beth says absentmindedly, her eyes still focused on the board.

“Everheard of strip chess?”

Beth’s eyes pop up to meet his, “what?”

“You know, like strip poker, only chess,” Benny must know she understood his meaning, but wants to make her work for it anyways. 

Beth is taken aback, she quite enjoys having sex with Benny, now especially, that he doesn’t try to focus on chess or anything else when they’re together anymore. But the idea of something as promiscuous as strip chess takes her back to the videos on manners at Methuen. 

However, Beth is not someone who backs down from a fight.

“What are the rules?”

“One piece of clothing for one piece captured, pawns excluded, and everything off for checkmate, also checkmate for everything off.”

“Ok, but you have an advantage, I’m in a dress,” she doesn’t mention that her normal strategy also calls for more sacrifices than Benny’s, putting herself at a double disadvantage. She knows that he knows this, and it’s likely that’s why he chose this variation of rules. But Beth is determined to win, even if the odds are stacked. 

“Fine, take white then.”

“Ok,” Beth agrees, beginning to reset the board. 

Playing, Beth is more cautious than she has ever been in a game, unsure of how to win without the great sacrifices she normally plays. This frustrates her, but finally she captures one of his knights. 

Beth looks at Benny expectantly, anticipating him taking off a sock or even a necklace just to be punitive, but to her surprise, Benny simply pulls his shirt over his head, and moves a pawn. 

Not to be distracted by his bare chest, Beth focuses intently on the board. The next major piece to fall is her rook, she knew it would fall and is prepared. She carefully motions through the fabric of her dress and shifts her shoulders to pull her bra out from under her dress.

She knows she has taken Benny by surprise by the quick motion of his head as he looks back at the board. Two moves later and she has taken his bishop, just as she planned, when she let him take her rook.

This time Benny does take off a sock, his face impassable. 

Benny loses his other sock next. 

When it is Beth’s turn to lose a clothing item, she chooses her underwear, sliping them off from under her dress. It’s not as shocking this time, as Benny already knows the play, but she sees him twitch his lip and knows she is still having an effect on him. 

Benny’s belt is next, knife and all. Beth nearly protests to the belt not being a true item of clothing, until she sees the knife shoved away with the belt rather than pushed into a pocket, and stops herself. 

Benny loses the next piece too, and given his stoic face, Beth is suddenly searching for a trap on the board. She is so frantic, she doesn’t notice Benny has taken off his pants, until she hears the fabric fall to the floor. She looks at Benny then, naked except for his boxers, and suddenly, a possible trap on the board doesn’t concern her anymore.

There was, as it turns out, a trap which Beth had failed to notice, and she really can’t blame the loss on the disruption to her normal strategy as the cause for her not noticing it. She knows she was distracted, but she is quite sure she can win between her and Benny, even if not on the board, or in the strictest sense of the rules. Beth stands up, pulling off her stockings, then unzipping the back of her dress, she lets the fabric fall to the floor, standing bare looking down at Benny. 

There is a look of awe and perhaps even a bit of pride in his face, as he breathes, “Beth.”

The end of his sentence is not in words, but in standing and stepping over the board to her side. The kiss he gives her, is not the taking of the victor’s spoils, but a willing surrender into her body. He cups her face in one hand and her back in the other; she holds onto his arms and shoulders trying to steady herself against rapid pounding of her own heart.

Benny shifts his arms, bends his knees, and in a moment, Beth is off the floor and in his arms. Benny breaks the kiss only to step over the clothing littering the entire room, and walk them both into the bedroom. He lays Beth down on the bed, and she immediately uses her elbows to raise herself and look at Benny. He is still wearing his boxers, and she wants to fix this immediately, but for a moment, she can only stare, her mouth slightly open. And it would seem that Benny is in a similar state, his eyes resting on Beth's, his face open and vulnerable, no trace of the cowboy shield he nearly always has up. 

“You’re beautiful, Beth.”

Beth is stunned for a moment. Benny has complimented Beth many times before, normally about chess, but always in an offhand matter of fact way. The way he tells her she is beautiful now is soft, as soft as his hand, when it comes to rest on her cheek, as he sits down next to her on the bed. Beth raises her hand to his cheek mirroring his motion, and they stare into each other's eyes, and Beth can’t fool herself anymore, they certainly aren’t fucking anymore, they aren’t having sex, they aren’t even sleeping together; they are making love.

They kiss, their lips gentle, but persistently consuming. Beth moves her hands to Benny’s boxers, and together they work to take them off without uncoupling their lips. 

Together they lean back into the bed, Benny propping himself on one elbow to look down at Beth. His free hand traces the lines of her body, his eyes following the motions.

Benny looks up to Beth in a silent question. Beth nods slightly, and Benny moves himself over her entrance. And in a split second Beth is full, she feels complete with Benny inside of her, their bodies joined.

As he moves above her, chest heaving, Benny peppers Beth with kisses wherever he can find purchase. Beth gasps, her body is on fire, and she feels deep heat coming from her core. She moves her hands constantly, his face, his arms, his head, his chest, his back, his abdomen, everywhere she can touch, and it isn’t enough. If only she could reach her fingers under his skin and feel what makes him Benny, feel whatever it is that makes him think the way he does, and look at her the way he does, feel that part of him that is so much the same as her. 

Everything is too much now, she feels herself scream his name, because it is the only thing that matters. And she hears her own name too, falling from his lips, but everything is very far away. 

It takes a while before Beth comes down from wherever the drug that is Benny took her. Benny is lying on top of her, his head tucked beneath her chin. She shifts slightly, and Benny rolls off her, but pulls her quickly back into his chest with one hand while pulling the covers up over them with the other.


	10. Chapter 10

The next day they study chess. Beth hasn’t been invited yet, but she anticipates there'll be a letter back in Kentucky by the time she gets home inviting her to the World Chess Championship 1969, now that she’s officially won an international tournament. And though it may be a year away, Beth has every intention of winning. 

It feels much like it had last time they had been studying chess in this apartment, and for a while, it is nice to simply bask in the nostalgia. 

Then Benny breaks her concentration on a Luchenko book, by clearing his throat, “you know I got a call yesterday.”

“Mhhm,” Beth responds waiting for more information.

“Apparently, my mother saw your interview yesterday.”

“Which one?”

“Merv Griffin, she was not overly pleased to be hearing about us being together from an interview rather than a phone call, quote ‘she thought she was entitled to know about my personal life a bit sooner than the rest of the world’.”

“You’re the one who said it was fine to tell people,” Beth said defensively.

“I know, I know,” Benny said, taking her hand seemingly to calm her, “it’s fine. I should have just called and told her before you went on air, that’s my own fault. I just haven't exactly taken a girl home to meet the parents or anything.”

Benny says it offhandedly, and even though Beth had suspected as much, to be confirmed the only woman Benny had ever seriously been with, it makes Beth feel that they are leveled. Benny might have had slept with countless more people than her, but when it came to this between them, they were evenly matched. Beth thinks that Harry might have been looking for this when he was living with her, but she had never seen it that way, and after he left she hadn’t understood what it was he was looking for from her. Since being with Benny this time around, she knows what it was, this feeling of connection, something intangible that only the two of them could see. 

“I didn’t want to assume your plans, but well she more or less demanded you be present at Christmas,” Benny looks at her expectantly.

Beth looks blankly back, not understanding what question she’s supposed to be answering, so she just responds, “Okay.”

“You don’t have any plans for Christmas?” Benny squints his eyes at her, seeming somewhat sceptical.

“No, Alma and I used to go to end of December tournaments on Christmas, because the tickets were always cheaper. I haven’t really celebrated since. If I was in Kentucky, I might call Jolene, but she’s probably with her lawyer fiance anyways,” she shrugs.

Benny takes her by surprise, kissing her. When he pulls away he speaks, “so long as you have me, we’ll celebrate Christmas with family.”

Beth swallows, “Okay.” She smiles, feeling warm.

After a beat, “you’ve really never had a Christmas tree and all that?” Benny looks less serious now, but genuinely curious.

“There was a Christmas tree at Methuen, but there weren’t ever presents under it or anything, they would just redistribute the clothes based on how we’d grown, and give us new toothbrushes. Before that, maybe, but I don’t really remember any Christmases back then” 

“Shit, how long were you there?”

“About six years.”

“You must have been, what, nine, when you went there?”

“Eight actually,” Beth thinks about stopping there, but she looks at Benny, and his face is open, so unlike the face he wears to tournaments, and so unlike the mix of pity and fascination the reporters wear when they ask her about her past, she decides to continue.

“It was after my mother died, she drove into another car, on purpose,” She stares off into the dark apartment. “She told me to close my eyes before the impact.” Beth sighs, “I had a father, he’d been long gone, but she did try to dump me with him before, but he wouldn’t take me, so off to Methuen it was.” 

Beth shrugs, and Benny nods, he knows there’s nothing to say, so instead he shifts himself closer to her, placing one arm around her, while holding up his own book to read.

Beth likes this, Benny’s casual acceptance of her story, the warmth of his body next to hers; he was the first person not to seem alien to herself. She had realized this first in Ohio, talking to him, having real conversations for the first time in the four years they had been circling each other. So now, Beth lays her head in Benny’s lap, and continues reading her book.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> special thanks to dannieephantomm, who beta'd this chapter! Also to everyone who comments, I really appreciate your thoughts!


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which this fic starts to devolve into a Christmas fic

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, this took so long. I'm in the middle of finals, and the holidays combined have me crazy busy. Anyways I still love comments and feedback.

Christmas Eve, and they are on a two hour drive into upstate New York. They sing along to the Christmas songs on the radio and play a few rounds of mental chess.

“What’s your family like?” Beth asks during a lull in the antics. 

“Well my aunt Helen lives with my mom, my dad’s side; she moved in after he died. Then there’s my sister, Jenny, and her husband, Ted, plus their two, well, about to be three, kids, Linda, David, and the one on the way.” Benny gestures vaguely with his hand still on the wheel. “They still live in town, keep close to home.”

Beth feels like she did when Benny first called her the best, as if he has no regard for the gravity of his own words. She’s pretty sure he’s told her more about her family in those few sentences than he has any other chess player, and chess is nearly his whole world. It also reinforces Beth’s position as far more to Benny than another opponent. 

Beth smiles, “I’ve never really been around a normal family.”

Benny laughs, “if that’s what constitutes a normal family, television must be filmed on Mars.”

… 

In the afternoon, they pull into the driveway of a classic suburban home, lights hung around the garage, and a wreath on the door. It reminds Beth of the houses back in Lexington. 

Beth and Benny exit the car with their bags, and a woman’s voice starts from the porch, “Benny, I raised you better than to let a young lady get her own door and bag!”

Beth looks up and sees an older woman dressed in an old fashioned red dress. Her hair may be half gray strands, but the blond that still remains is unmistakable as Benny’s, the woman must be his mother. 

Benny begrudgingly takes Beth's bag and leads them up to the porch.

“Beth,” Benny pops a shoulder in the direction of the woman, “this is my mother.”

Beth smiles and reaches out a hand to her, but instead, Mrs. Watts wraps an arm around Beth in a half hug, kissing her cheek. 

“It’s good to meet you Mrs. Watts,” Beth stumbles out. 

“Call me Ruth dear,” Mrs. Watts insists, keeping a hand on Beth’s forearm to guide her into the house.

Benny has already set down their bags, and is kneeling down to be wrestled by two children calling him Uncle Benny. Another older woman quickly takes both of Beth’s hands in hers, “Merry Christmas, dear, I’m Helen.”

Helen’s hair is all gray, and curling out of her updo. And before Beth can seem to speak, a tall man in his thirties introduces himself with a handshake, “I’m Ted.”

“Pleased to meet you both,” Beth says looking between Helen who is no longer looking at her, but the scene on the living room floor, and Ted. 

“And this is my wife, Jenny” Ted adds, gesturing to a very pregnant woman on the couch. 

“I’m sorry, it’s just so hard to get up and down at this point in the pregnancy,” Jenny apologizes, gesturing to her gigantic belly.

“Oh don’t worry about it,” Beth says, sitting down next to her on the couch. She is about to introduce herself, when someone, Ruth, she thinks shouts, “Benjamin what is it you think you’re doing!”

At some point in the introductions, Benny had seemingly untangled himself from the kids and grabbed their bags and was now heading down a hallway, Beth assumed lead to the bedrooms.

“What?” Benny asks frozen in a doorway.

Ruth looks stony, “you will be putting Beth’s bag in your sister’s old room, not yours.”

“Mom,” Benny begins, before he is interrupted.

“I do not care what young people in the big city do these days, but in my house two unmarried people do not sleep in the same room.” Benny rolls his eyes, but sets his bag down, and moves Beth’s to the room across the hall.

“I apologize for the Elvis posters, it’s been a long time since anyone stayed there,” Jenny whispers to Beth. Beth smiles at her.

“Welcome to our home Beth, we are so glad Benny brought you up to meet us,” Ruth smiles through most of the sentence, but she does send one pointed look at Benny as he walks back into the living room. 

“We like to hit the service before dinner if you two would like to change.” Beth nods. “Jenny can show you the steamer for your dress.”

Jenny takes the lead down the hallway, waddling somewhat, Benny behind Beth. She sneaks a glance at him as they turn into opposite rooms; their eyes meet for a moment; Beth smiles. 

Jenny points Beth in the way of a steamer, as Beth unpacks her clothing to hang in the closet. It feels strange getting dressed alone in the room with this woman who means so much to Benny, but who she knows nothing about. 

“I never read about you in any of the articles on Benny,” Beth states in a hope to get the conversation going. 

“Oh, well, I’m ordinary.”

“I’m sorry,” Beth says awkwardly. 

“No, no, I’m glad. I was certainly jealous as a kid, but then we grew up, and I got married to the love of my life, and then we’ve been blessed with children. And each time I think my heart can’t possibly grow any bigger, but when the nurse hands me that little bundle, I can’t help but love them so much.”

Beth is shocked, her words are so similar to Margrett’s, but the meaning is so much happier.

Jenny continues, “And Benny, well he got to be the best at chess, he got to live in the city, he always wanted to do those things growing up, but you know he just kept doing the same stuff, he played chess and lived in that godawful apartment, and that’s it. Never had anyone to come home to since he moved out, never found anyone who meant something more than chess. And I know that he loves the game, but when I think about how much I love Ted, Linda, David, and this one,” she places her hands over her stomach, “and how much they add to my life, I just can’t help but think about how much he’s missing.”


End file.
